April 21, 2010 
DG&B 
For some reason (don’t judge) I find Twitter humor irresistible. Maybe it’s because the idea of winnowing human communication to 140 characters at a time seems at once so efficient (in a Dr. Evil sort of way) and so ludicrous, but I can pretty predictably crack myself up trying to imagine those palaverous Victorian authors tweeting about their work.
This fun piece in the Huff Post about historical presidential tweets made me wonder how our bygone literary stars would’ve told their followers about their work in progress. Publishing people have been poking fun at their Hollywood counterparts for their high concept pitches (“When Harry Met Sally meets Jaws”) forever but, as Twitter shows us, there’s an art to boiling down and dumbing down.
RT@MCervantes Almost done with novel about crazy old man and his fat sidekick who like to attack windmills. Feeling good about this one.
RT@LTolstoy This war saga is turning out a little longer than expected. Hope my publisher doesn’t mind that I’m a little over word count.
RT@Faulkner My mother is a fish. That’s a whole chapter in my new book. Twitter has been a great influence.
What would your favorite authors be tweeting?
I love this post, and the Tolstoy 'tweet' in particular!
'RT@EBronte Bit depressed. Lots of death and sorrowing. Lottie demands a happy ending.'
'RT@WShakespeare Killed the lovers. Sorry. Can't think of a couplet to end. What rhymes with Romeo?'
RT @LCarroll: Ate strange mushroom and now have brilliant idea for book. I #amwriting now.
RT@Poe: Had this strange dream about a big, black, talking bird. What do you think it means?
I love this!
RT@eecummings: i hate (o,ihate) using caps, my darlings, my Tweets. the spellcheck is crying,isCrying.
RT@JRRTolkien: How many appendices are acceptable to readers? Not sure I can get it all in this book. Where's my pipe when I need it?
RT@Aesop:Don't judge this book by its cover.
RT@JamesJoyce: Just finished a novel that will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant!
RT@Meyers:werewolves and sparkling vampires. Should be a hit.
RT@CMarlowe: I'd sell my soul for a fresh idea…wait… d00d! OMG! Ive got 1!
RT@God: Just follow my commandments and I'll see you on the flip side.
RT@HMelville: This latest novel is turning into a whale of a tale.
RT@Dickens What I tweet now is a far, far better tweet than I have ever tweeted before, and where it goes, I know—Drat! How am I supposed to
RT@Tolkien: This ring is creating way too many problems for little people! But it is PRECIOUS…
You guys are clever!
Short humor's the best. Look at that list Chasya posted that was circulating everywhere yesterday of 50 authors putting down other authors. The best lines were the concise ones. No elaboration needed.
I think Kurt Vonnegut would have been a master at this.
RT@KVonnegut: Character died. So it goes.
RT@KVonnegut: I'll finish this novel soon, if the accident will.
and so on.
RT@Shakespeare: To tweet or not to tweet, that is the question…
RT@BenFranklin: making up life story, do I call it autobiography or hit the trend with "memoir"?
RT@FSFitzgerald: Can't finish this d**m book till that f**king boat quits banging against the shore. It's ceaseless!
RT@Bierce: There's something in my room but I can't see it. I hope that I can swat the Damned Thing.
RT@Wells:New book is about a fantastic machine. Would explain but I don't have time.